Our hope, as we read this book, is that everyone can take a fresh look at the road their marriage is on and by trusting and abiding in Jesus we can gain clear direction for our lives. Remember, direction (NOT intention) determines the outcome.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Principal of the Path
We are starting a new book this week called "The Principal of the Path" by Andy Stanley.
Pray Naked
Ashley came up with this tool for praying for our spouses. The idea is to laminate this list and hang it in the shower where we can intentionally take time each day to pray specifically for one thing on the list. It had powerful impact on me personally to know that my wife was praying these things over me everyday. As couples we need to keep finding ways to take each other to Jesus, it is critical for a healthy marriage.
- Give them a hunger and thirst for righteousness
- Protect them from harm at work today
- Place in their lives a Godly mentor.
- Stabilize their thoughts and give them a mind that is grounded in Godly truth
- Their physical health
- A desire to increase in wisdom and knowledge of God
- His/her influence at work. To be a Godly example to others.
- Keep him (her) from relationships that would not glorify God
- Our intimacy SPIRITUALLY
- Our intimacy OF MIND
- Our PHYSICAL intimacy
- For them to feel loved and accepted
- His/her desire to glorify God in the work they do
- Understanding his/her unique design and how that can bring God glory
- Release and healing of past hurts or strongholds
- Place in him/her THE JOY OF THE LORD. May it become their strength
- Teach me how to love them; in a way that nurtures them and brings glory to YOU
- His/her ability to trust God with our finances and provision
- To be attracted to holiness and purity
- Break generational curses that are preventing FULL RELATIONSHIPS
- Give us a UNITED VISION for our future and the direction for our family
- Teach them to RELY ON THE LORD and place their hope in HIM
- Pray against any fear in their lives that will keep them from GOD
- To be filled with discernment and compassion in their relationships
- Give them a heart for those who are lost
- Teach them to value what God values
- Thank God for them and their uniqueness. And Thank Him for his wisdom in joining you two together
- Multiply their rest and energy for the next day
- Comfort them as they mourn any unfulfilled desires
- Give him/her opportunity to use the gifts you have given them to bless someone today.
- To be FREE OF UN-FORGIVENESS. GIVE THEM A HEART THAT IS SLOW TO ANGER AND QUICK TO LOVE!
How to Pray for your WHOLE Spouse
Selfishness effects so many our our relationships, reactions and responses to things. Relative to a marriage, God first turns many of us away from ourselves toward our spouse. He uses that primary relationship to "train" us. Eventually His purposes emerge and, in unity, the married couple's hearts are again turned outward toward the family, then the community and ultimately toward the world. If we remain in our selfishness our lives are spent looking inward where we are blinded to our ultimate goals of mission and bringing glory to God.
THE FOLLOWING ARE SOME WAYS TO PRAY FOR YOUR SPOUSE.
A.C.T.S. Prayer Model
Adoration - Spend time praising the Lord and adoring Him for who he is (Matt. 6:9). Use Scripture to praise Him (see Pss. 103, 145, 150; Rev. 4:8; 5:12-14). Love and cherish His presence and allow Him to work in and through your life (see Matt. 22:32-34). Be still before Him and enjoy His presence (see Ps. 46:10). Use this time to allow God to speak to you through His Word and Spirit (see Pss. 40:1-3; 90:12-17). Praise the Lord by praying scripture or hymns back to Him (see Ps. 84; Rev. 4:8; 5:9-10, 12-13 and "Great is Thy Faithfulness").
Confession - Confession should be a part of your continual walk with Christ (see Matt. 6:9-13). Spend time asking Christ to search your heart for areas that displease Him (see Ps. 139:23-24). Allow God to cleanse your heart of any unconfessed sin (see Ps. 51:10-13). Be sure to spend time confessing and repenting of (turning away from) specific sins (see 1 John 1:9). Accept His forgiveness and cleansing (see Jer. 31:34).
Thanksgiving - Giving thanks for all things should be a part of our everyday lives as God's people (see Phil. 4:6-7). This includes thanking God for specific things such as blessings, people, open doors, guidance, etc. Also give thanks for His salvation and the privilege to serve such a wonderful Savior. Thank Him for his goodness, loving-kindness, and faithfulness (see Ps. 100:4-6).
Supplication - We are called as believers to intercessory prayer (see Matt. 6:9-13; Luke 18:1; Col. 4:2; 1 Tim. 2:1-4). Thus, we are to come before God on behalf of others (see Heb. 10:19-25; Rev. 1:4-6). Spend time praying for specific people, events, states, countries, missionaries, etc. (see Acts 12:5; Rom. 10:1). In addition, spend time praying for personal needs (see Matt. 6:11-13). Make prayer lists for your time of supplication. Be sure to include a place for answers to be recorded. Recorded answers can become items for praise and thanksgiving.
TONIGHT'S PRAYER CHALLENGE
Pray for YOURSELF. Lord, open my eyes, open my heart, change my heart. Sometimes it's good to start by praying silently and ask the Spirit to quiet your heart and pray through you. Ask God to make known His desires for you and your spouse.
Pray for their SPIRIT. Closeness to God, needs, calling, gifts, ask the Lord to encourage them. You can ask for strength, boldness and a willing heart to obey the Lord's leading.
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Pray for their BODY. For their physical needs to be met. If there are any health problems or struggles.
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Pray for their MIND. Ask the Lord for help, and to remind him/her of the authority we have against the thoughts that would try to bring us down, make us depressed or bring discouragement and despair.
Pray for their material needs. Ask God to help where needed. Ask God to provide.
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Pray for their DREAMS and DESIRES. Those dreams may really be a glimpse into the will of God for their life.
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Pray in the name of JESUS. When you pray in the name of Jesus, and know what you are praying is the will of God, and that your prayers will be answered. Pray in faith, believing that your prayers are heard. God knows our thoughts and needs but responds to our prayers.
Is Your Spouse Your "Roof Crasher"?
Jesus Heals a Paralytic – Mark 2:1-12
A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."
Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, "Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?"
Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, "Why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins… " He said to the paralytic, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"
What must life have been like for the paralytic man?
How did this man benefit from being from having close friends to do life with?
Consider what kind of mat you have.
Who is part of your “Fellowship of the Mat”? If you are in a crisis, whom do you call at 3 am? Who prays for you on a regular basis? Who can drop in unannounced without any embarrassment? Who can you call to celebrate a victory in your life? To what extent are you a part of a “Fellowship of the Mat” these days?
After marriage your spouse becomes your primary "roof crasher". Are we taking each other to Jesus on a regular basis? How do we put Christ back on the throne of our life? How can we help our spouse do the same?
Whose faith did Christ respond to when he healed the paralytic?
Why does Mark say “When Jesus SAW their faith”?
What can we conclude? We must take each other to Christ in FAITH. KNOWING that He alone has the power and desire to free us from our “mat”.
For your spouse, write down as many character strengths as you can think of. These strengths of character are strengths that God will use to help you, help others, pass on to children, etc.
A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."
Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, "Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?"
Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, "Why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins… " He said to the paralytic, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"
What must life have been like for the paralytic man?
How did this man benefit from being from having close friends to do life with?
Consider what kind of mat you have.
Who is part of your “Fellowship of the Mat”? If you are in a crisis, whom do you call at 3 am? Who prays for you on a regular basis? Who can drop in unannounced without any embarrassment? Who can you call to celebrate a victory in your life? To what extent are you a part of a “Fellowship of the Mat” these days?
After marriage your spouse becomes your primary "roof crasher". Are we taking each other to Jesus on a regular basis? How do we put Christ back on the throne of our life? How can we help our spouse do the same?
Whose faith did Christ respond to when he healed the paralytic?
Why does Mark say “When Jesus SAW their faith”?
What can we conclude? We must take each other to Christ in FAITH. KNOWING that He alone has the power and desire to free us from our “mat”.
For your spouse, write down as many character strengths as you can think of. These strengths of character are strengths that God will use to help you, help others, pass on to children, etc.
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Now make a list of prayer needs or challenges that you currently face. (This is a private list and will not have to be shared with the group.)
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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Before we pray for our spouse:
Prepare your heart to submit to God’s will. Do not try and impose your desires for your spouse on God but rather ask God to make known His desires for you and your spouse.
God knows our thoughts and needs but He responds to our prayers.
Prayer is seeking God’s presence and the release of His power.
Pray for God to get the Glory in helping you overcome difficult situations.
NOW TAKE TURNS PRAYING TOGETHER AS A COUPLE. START BY THANKING GOD FOR YOUR SPOUSE, THANK HIM SPECIFICALLY FOR THE STRENGTHS THAT WERE GIFTED TO YOUR SPOUSE. NEXT, TRADE PAPERS AND PRAY FOR THE REQUESTS OF YOUR SPOUSE, IT IS IMPORTANT TO PRAY FOR EACH OTHERS STRUGGLES. REMEMBER, YOU ARE THE "ROOF CRASHER" FOR YOUR SPOUSE.
Conclusion:
Isaiah 49:15 (New International Reader’s Version)
The Lord answers, "Can a mother forget the baby who is nursing at her breast? Can she stop showing her tender love to the child who was born to her? She might forget her child. But I will not forget you. I have written your name on the palms of my hands.
Prepare your heart to submit to God’s will. Do not try and impose your desires for your spouse on God but rather ask God to make known His desires for you and your spouse.
God knows our thoughts and needs but He responds to our prayers.
Prayer is seeking God’s presence and the release of His power.
Pray for God to get the Glory in helping you overcome difficult situations.
NOW TAKE TURNS PRAYING TOGETHER AS A COUPLE. START BY THANKING GOD FOR YOUR SPOUSE, THANK HIM SPECIFICALLY FOR THE STRENGTHS THAT WERE GIFTED TO YOUR SPOUSE. NEXT, TRADE PAPERS AND PRAY FOR THE REQUESTS OF YOUR SPOUSE, IT IS IMPORTANT TO PRAY FOR EACH OTHERS STRUGGLES. REMEMBER, YOU ARE THE "ROOF CRASHER" FOR YOUR SPOUSE.
Conclusion:
Isaiah 49:15 (New International Reader’s Version)
The Lord answers, "Can a mother forget the baby who is nursing at her breast? Can she stop showing her tender love to the child who was born to her? She might forget her child. But I will not forget you. I have written your name on the palms of my hands.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
This letter of advice was given to me by my dad just before I was married back in 1997. My parents have been happily married for over 40 years and they have been an inspiration to Ashley and I in our own marriage. These words of wisdom from him are like gold. I thought I'd share.
Andy, Your Dad’s Advice
Talk! Talk! Talk about every thing with Ashley and respect each others opinion, and use each others areas of expertise. Together you will be an unbeatable team!
Don’t ever complain about your wife to your friends about little or big things, it gives others the wrong impression about your marriage and relationship.
Money! Agree on how to spend it . Make a budget together so you are in total agreement about where your priorities are. Decide how much to spend without discussion.
Complaining! A little goes a long way. Don’t fall into the trap of making complaining a major topic of conversation. Don’t go to work some where for 8 hrs a day then spend the first hour together complaining about it. Be a positive person! Change what needs changing, fix what you can fix, understand the realities of a situation then, comment on it, learn to live with it, or take yourself out of the situation. Complaining is counter-productive.
If something bothers you about your wife, discuss it with her, that is, only IF it is something you can’t live with. Remember, you did not marry her to change her. You fell in love with here the way she is.
Have a real date at least once every other week. I mean something alone. People get too wrapped up in their groups and don’t make the time for each other. In most group activities you really are not getting much time together.
Keep the romance in your marriage! One minor part of that is giving each other a little privacy, for example, bathroom privacy. How romantic is it for your wife to see you go to the bathroom.
Kids will change everything. Get to know each other well first. One major change in your life at a time is enough, although not always possible. Kids will be fun, but much work. You really have to work a team with the kids, give each other a break for a few minutes each day. You will have to devote yourselves to your Kids, but don’t for get your date! You start out just the two of you and you will end up again that way, so keep your personal relationship alive and well while you go through the other parts of your life.
Don’t embarrass her in front of friends or family. This could be an embarrassing story that you could choose not to tell, or choosing to discreetly help her avoid a potentially embarrassing situation, even though it could seem funny on one level. Make the distinction between funny and embarrassing. It is an important one.
Always be the person, do the things and say the things, that Ashley can be proud of when she thinks of you.
Always be the one person Ashley can trust any situation and never do anything to shake that trust.
Don’t keep secrets! Don’t let some one tell you something that you can’t tell Ashley! Tell them, of course you don’t mean my wife.
You two will be as one against the world!
Love, Dad
Talk! Talk! Talk about every thing with Ashley and respect each others opinion, and use each others areas of expertise. Together you will be an unbeatable team!
Don’t ever complain about your wife to your friends about little or big things, it gives others the wrong impression about your marriage and relationship.
Money! Agree on how to spend it . Make a budget together so you are in total agreement about where your priorities are. Decide how much to spend without discussion.
Complaining! A little goes a long way. Don’t fall into the trap of making complaining a major topic of conversation. Don’t go to work some where for 8 hrs a day then spend the first hour together complaining about it. Be a positive person! Change what needs changing, fix what you can fix, understand the realities of a situation then, comment on it, learn to live with it, or take yourself out of the situation. Complaining is counter-productive.
If something bothers you about your wife, discuss it with her, that is, only IF it is something you can’t live with. Remember, you did not marry her to change her. You fell in love with here the way she is.
Have a real date at least once every other week. I mean something alone. People get too wrapped up in their groups and don’t make the time for each other. In most group activities you really are not getting much time together.
Keep the romance in your marriage! One minor part of that is giving each other a little privacy, for example, bathroom privacy. How romantic is it for your wife to see you go to the bathroom.
Kids will change everything. Get to know each other well first. One major change in your life at a time is enough, although not always possible. Kids will be fun, but much work. You really have to work a team with the kids, give each other a break for a few minutes each day. You will have to devote yourselves to your Kids, but don’t for get your date! You start out just the two of you and you will end up again that way, so keep your personal relationship alive and well while you go through the other parts of your life.
Don’t embarrass her in front of friends or family. This could be an embarrassing story that you could choose not to tell, or choosing to discreetly help her avoid a potentially embarrassing situation, even though it could seem funny on one level. Make the distinction between funny and embarrassing. It is an important one.
Always be the person, do the things and say the things, that Ashley can be proud of when she thinks of you.
Always be the one person Ashley can trust any situation and never do anything to shake that trust.
Don’t keep secrets! Don’t let some one tell you something that you can’t tell Ashley! Tell them, of course you don’t mean my wife.
You two will be as one against the world!
Love, Dad
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